


Antisocial Feelings

by HisagiJ69



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Dancing, Drinking, M/M, Sneaking Out, Some Humor, Some angst, smiling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4094587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisagiJ69/pseuds/HisagiJ69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack decides that Oswald is too antisocial for his own good, so decides to help...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Find

**Author's Note:**

> I will forever ship JackXOswald :3 I wanted to try to picture these guy's relationship and so here it is :3

Oswald Baskerville convinced himself that he was alright as he walked away from the tall tower where he had just let his little sister. He was not, though, and it was something else than Gryphon, who having been contracted with short ago, still wasn’t fully under his control, but mostly because Lacie was smiling at him when she said “See you tomorrow”. He asked himself if he would master courage enough to come the next day, to confront her and see her beautiful face and hear her lovely voice and face the fact that he would rob all of it from this world. It was cruel of Lacie to be so kind to him when she knew very well he would be her doom. And soon enough. It was hard for Oswald to face such sympathy when he felt angry and disgusted by his own guts. It was maybe a needed punishment for the sin of his own existence and inevitable task, so he ought to bear with it.

            The air was fresh outside and the dark haired man took a deep breath to clean his sore lungs, but it only made his headache worsen. It was normal, Levi said, that weakness, tiredness and itching pain in his left arm. Yet now, more than his throbbing head, the heaviness of his own heart made him shiver in defeat.

            “Hey, Osw- I mean, Glen!” A laugh. “Sorry, I’m still trying to get used to it.”

            The words spoken in such soft voice were instantly recognized by the future Baskerville’s head, who looked up at the cheerful blond man approaching. “Jack.”

            The Vessalius’ eyes glowed as his pretty smile grew wider. “Going to see his little sister, I suppose?”

            “Already did so. I’m heading to the mansion now. Be well.” Oswald said, simply, and turned his back to go away.

            “W-Wait, wait!” Jack shouted in a laugh, holding his friend’s hand. “Why such a hurry, is everything okay?”

            Oswald opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. Once again, echoed in his throat the phantoms of word he couldn’t speak, no matter how much he wished to. Relief he could not afford, for he could never tell Jack that everything was not okay, that everything was wrong and twisted and that this world made him sick, that it was unfair and that he wanted to disappear so he didn’t have to become a monster. “Everything is fine.” He answered instead.

            Jack stepped closer and leaned with a bold worried look. “You seem pale, Glen. I mean, paler than usual, at least. Are you sure you feel well?”

            Truth: that unreachable aspiration he had to deny. “I feel perfectly fine, Jack. I’m going now.”

            His voice slowly died when he took a first step, his vision instantly blurring and feeble legs stumbling over nothing. Jack reached out by instinct and wrapped arms around the falling man’s waist in time to prevent Oswald’s body from hitting the floor too violently.

            The Baskerville didn’t know what happened, his head spinning and numbing all of his senses. He faintly heard his name being called out from a far distance and saw big green blots in front of his face before he closed his eyes and passed out.

**\---#---**

            When he woke up, Oswald was dizzy and confused and his eyelids were heavy and stubborn on staying closed. “Hum…” He hummed in annoyance, still the low sound painfully echoing in his skull. His short field of vision was too quickly taken over by a familiar smiley face. “Oswal- I mean, Glen is back!” Jack cheered.

            It took Oswald one second to absorb the information and one more for him to organize it in order to understand what was going on. His eyes opened wide at the realization and he stood up, immediately regretting doing so when he felt needles piercing his brain and left out a moan of pain.

            Jack’s hand reached for his shoulder. “Glen! Don’t move so abruptly!”

            Oswald looked at his friend with one eye opened. “What happened?”

            “You kind of collapsed in the garden.” Levi answered, entering the room uncalled and leaning against the door frame. “What a sigh to see you waver, _Glen-sama_.” He added, the usual sharp grin on his face and cruelly emphasizing the last words. The remark made Oswald forget his pain out of annoyance, but he didn’t say anything. “I know you are still not the actual Glen, but I’m trying to get used to the tittle, as the others.” The white haired man explained, even though nobody asked, and entered the room to sit over the sofa. “Feeling any better?”

            “I feel perfectly fine.” Oswald said, taking a deep breath and looking around. That was his room, he concluded.

            “Last time you said that didn’t go very well, did it?” Asked Jack, playfully, making Oswald stare at him. The Vessalius felt those purple eyes’ intensity and was obliged to look away, still smiling. “You should rest.” He assured, pushing Oswald to lay him down again. “Recover properly.”

            Oswald wasn’t willing to lay down again and so he pulled Jack’s hand away holding his wrist, with gentle yet tight grip. “I don’t need to recover. I’m alright already.”

            “Glen, you…”

            “I said I’m fine Jack.” Oswald sighed before he looked up once again. “You don’t need to… worry…” He ended, not sure about that last word, but without knowing which one to use instead. Saying it out loud, though, made him shiver and so it did to Jack, who stared open mouthed into Oswald’s eyes for long seconds, feeling his skin hot and breath stuck, before another voice interrupted the somehow intimate moment.

            “It will be a quick instant before you get used to Gryphon’s presence.” Levi affirmed. “But it is a though one, I admit. Much more difficult than Owl or Dodo.”

            After the actual’s Glen short speech, Oswald had let go of Jack’s wrist and had two tightly closed fists over the mattress. “Yes…” He agreed without much of a though, out of other things to say. “I will pretty much be able to deal with it. Thank you.”

            The silence fell over the three man. Not a calm and peaceful one, but yet compelling and weird. Levi stared with some amusement at the two young heirs between which a weird atmosphere had suddenly thicken up, both staring away from each other. “Well, well, this is starting to get boring.” The Baskerville announced, standing up, or rather jumping up with too much energy having in mind his weakened state after ceding three of his chains. “You know what makes you so sick, Oswald?” He asked, as an afterthought before reaching the door. “Upsy, failed again! Glen-sama, I meant.”

            “What do you want?” Oswald shouted rather rudely just to avoid that stupid consideration.

            Levi replied with another grin, perfectly conscious of how annoyed his successor could easily get. “I mean to say it is lack of interaction. You are but an anti-social emo far too lonely for a young and good-looking man as yourself. Try to attend some social meetings or balls more often, I bet it would do you good. Now I’ll leave you two. Bye!” He cried cheerfully when he got out incredibly quickly.

            The two left in the room stared at the door a few seconds before Jack spoke up. “I think Glen might be right, you know? You are far too solitary.”

            “I am not solitary.” Oswald said, simply. “I am always surrounded by annoying people like himself.”

            Jack let out a laugh, which made Oswald surprised. “He is a queer man, I admit. But I also know that he likes you as much as you like him.”

            Oswald wanted to deny, but decided to keep shut. After all, Levi had been the one to take him and his little sister out of the streets, the one who had given them a comfy home to belong and had fed them and taught them. He was, in spite of his intentions, the closest thing Oswald and Lacie had known to a family.

            Noticing the dark haired didn’t answer, Jack continued. “I think he meant you need to get to know _more_ people. Someone besides himself and Lacie. Even though you also frequently avoid talking to them that much. Some real friends who you feel good with that are not part of the Baskerville...”

            “I don’t need other friends.” He counter attacked. “I have you.”

            One, two, three long and dragged seconds while both of them looked into those words. Oswald immediately regretted opening his mouth as Jack let out an odd chuckle, scratching the back of his head and looking up at the ceiling, obviously embarrassed. “W-What about some girls?!” He asked in a haste to keep the conversation up before another weird silence installed.

            Glen frowned, slightly as he always did, expression barely recognizable by strangers but that Jack had learned with time and patience to identify. “Girls?”

            “Yeah…” The other proceeded. “Like a girlfriend. Don’t you have a girlfriend?” He felt oddly reluctant to speak up the question.

            Oswald thought during a minute, letting Jack unsure about if to consider telling the truth or not or just to mourn over the real meaning of “girlfriend”. “I don’t.” The Baskerville answered finally.

“Ah…” Jack mumbled, smiling in some sort of surprise mixed with relief, a weird feeling he decided to ignore. “A-Anyway! You shall have some girl that… interests you, right? I mean, there are so many gorgeous ladies in those parties you have to attend to, I bet at least one caught your eye, right?”

“Not really.” Oswald spoke up, emotionless.

“Ah? How that?!” Jack asked, this time sincerely amazed.

“Do _you_ have a girlfriend?”

The question was so quick and sudden that made Jack freeze in his spot. He tried to cover the shock with a laugher but to no avail. Oswald looked so serious at him that Jack felt the need to ponder over the matter. “N-Not… really. No, actually.”

It was a stupid question. Oswald knew it as well as he knew that Jack had eyes for none other than his beloved little sister, the one person he fought his all life to find. It hurt him in a way he couldn’t really explain. It hurt because he knew he would be the one taking away from Jack the thing he adored the most, it hurt because Jack would hate him for so and it hurt because Oswald knew that, no matter how hard he tried, he could not replace Lacie. That last argument had double meaning, he knew so, but involuntarily ignored the fact. It all hurt, but listening Jack denying an actual romantic relationship with Lacie made him felt at ease in some way, or at least he tried to convince himself of that. The hole in his chest grew bigger instead. “I see.” He continued, wishing with some words to push away those thoughts. “Then I won’t take such scolding from you.”

Jack smiled in amusement. “Okay, okay, fair enough.”

“I… I guess I might sleep a bit for now.” Oswald stated when the silence stretched for too long in the room.

“Oh, yeah. You shall, actually.” Jack said, standing up slightly abashed. “A great night of sleep shall do you well.”

“It shall.” Oswald agreed, but didn’t move.

No mention of the other to lay down by himself made Jack speak up: “Want me to stay and look over you?”

Oswald was a man who didn’t flushed easily, or else he would have for sure. He quickly laid down and covered his head with the blanket, shouting a low yet harsh: “No.”

Jack chuckled, thankful his friend couldn’t see him blushing after saying such embarrassing and easily misunderstood words. “Sleep well, then.”

Oswald waited until he heard the door be closed softly and only then left out the air he was holding in his lungs.


	2. To Dance

Oswald Baskerville- no: Glen Baskerville, Jack mentally corrected himself, was a man not really easy to deal with. Jack was great if the subject was dealing with people (that was, after all, his only weapon, the one that permitted him to survive along the years and come this far), yet there was something else about Oswald. He was always so stern, so tense and so hard to read, he never really said when something was wrong with him and didn’t talk too much. Well, all of those things proposed a challenge for his friendship with Jack, but the last found it kind of refreshing, actually. Oswald was the type of guy who didn’t fall too easily for his charm, and that was nice for a change. But even though Oswald was actually a nice man when you know him well enough, it wasn’t hard for Jack to understand why people kept distance from the scary future heir of the Baskerville.

Jack cried out in pain when his hair was harshly pulled back. “W-What was _that_ for?!” Caressing his hurt scalp, the man looked back to face Lacie’s annoyed smirk.

“Ups.” She murmured, innocently, but her smile immediately faded, uncovering her fake amusement. She turned around and walked to the drawer with heavy steps.

“Are you mad at me?” Jack asked, oblivious to whatever reason would make Lacie act so violently. But it was Lacie, and Lacie was above all unpredictable, so he wasn’t that surprised. He stood up to reach her. “Did I do something?”

Lacie turned and slammed her opened palm against his chest. “You didn’t listen to a word I just said, did you?”

Jack felt somehow embarrassed. “Hum… what were we talking about, exactly?” Lacie threw him a murderer look that made his heart throb. “I-I’m sorry-”

“Stay.” She ordered, pulling him back and making him sit down over the chair again.

Jack obeyed and involuntarily pouted, not sure of what to say, so he stood quiet.

After a moment, the girl patiently brushing his long locks huffed. “Look, I don’t mind you being thoughtful, but I would rather you not ignoring me!”

“I-I wasn’t _ignoring_ you… I just got a bit distracted, I’m sorry, Lacie.”     

The dark haired girl stared for a moment at the Vessalius, who had turned to grab her hands apologetically. He seemed pitiful but also sincere, so Lacie bit back a smile and made him turn around again. “It’s okay. Don’t do it again.”

Jack grinned, remembering Lacie of a happy puppy when he answered automatically. “Yes, sure!”

They stood in silence a bit more, Lacie playfully handing Jack’s hair and him smiling and appreciating the attention. He visited almost every day now, since Levi seemed to have stopped caring about his sporadic visits and just let him in without scandals or scolding. He appreciated his time with Lacie, usually not doing much, but just standing near her was reassuring. Today she had decided to treat his hair stating that she was bored. Jack complied with no more questions. “You don’t need to worry about my brother.” She said after a while. “He is fine.”

Jack was caught by surprise. “I’m not worrying about Oswald…”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Jack.” She spoke. “It’s obvious you are. You have been spacing out since he passed out the other day. But he’s okay, he’s getting used to Gryphon just fine.”

“It’s not like I’m worrying… I was just thinking…”

“Thinking of?” She asked, very directly.

Jack took a moment to continue. “Oswald is always so… lonely. Don’t you think?”

“You mean he doesn’t have many friends. It’s true. He actually doesn’t have any that I know besides you. He’s not much of a people person.”

“Don’t you think that is… weird?” Jack mumbled, unsure.

Lacie’s hands stopped. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean… He’s a nice guy. He’s young, handsome, and rich. And yet he spends his time all alone. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, that’s how he is.” The girl agreed. “We had a rough life before we got here. We spent most of our time looking for shelter and food, we never really had patience or will to look for anything like friends. People are evil, anyway. At least most of them acted like beasts towards us. Mostly because of me, but my brother ended up suffering it as well, of course, since he never once stood away from me. I suppose he never really got to trust people much because of that.”

Jack looked down at his own hands. He could easily imagine. He himself had a stray dog’s life once, wandering on the streets and striving to survive, only changed by Lacie’s existence. He knew how cruel people could be. How cruel people _were_ , in general. He also knew Lacie wasn’t allowed to go out, due to her tendency to escape when she was a child, so being lonely was the whole plan for her and she seemed fine about it. But Oswald, as long as he knew, had no restrictions about that. Lacie’s voice woke him from his thoughts. “But why are you wondering about that now? Where did all that interest come from?”

“Oh, it just… came to my mind.” He lied.

“Let me guess: Levi put that into your head.” Lacie said, disdainful.

“How do you do that?” Jack asked, genuinely impressed. Lacie’s smartness always succeeded to surprise him.

“That’s just like him. He is just an old man trying to mix with youngsters, you should definitely not listen to him. He’s a goofy who makes fun of everything and everyone and can’t get serious, like, ever.”

“He said your brother’s lack of social interactions could be the cause of his weakness during this though periods…”

This time Lacie burst out laughing, a jovial and bright laugh that made Jack turn around to look at her. And how pretty she was, hiding her mouth with the hairbrush, big round eyes shining in pure delight. Everything in her was simple and raw beauty, wild and rough in a way, yet equally gentle and childish. “That is absolutely ridiculous, Jack. Jeez, that guy still is able to lure you into believing his blabbering. Please, spare me.”

Jack slightly shook his head to wake from the trance the beautiful image of Lacie had put him into “Oh, it’s not that I _believed_ , exactly… I just came to think that maybe Oswald actually _wants_ to meet people and is just too shy?” He asked, simply.

“I wouldn’t say so.” Lacie continued, still amused. “I know my brother well enough and he never mentioned wanting friends of any kind. Partly, I know, because he is always too worried about me. But I doubt he craves for social interaction, if you ask me.”

“He told me the same. I just don’t know if I should believe him.” The blond said with a smile.

Lacie kept entwining his locks into the usual thick braid he always wore. “He has you now, yes? I would say that is more than enough for him.”

Those words made Jack think about Oswald’s words the other day, in his room. _“I don’t need other friends. I have you.”,_ he said. Something in that memory still made him grin and blush for some reason, made him happy somehow. “Yeah… he also said something like that…”

“Wow!” Lacie interjected, still working on the man’s hair. “He did? Well, that’s new…”

“W-What do you mean…?” Jack asked, fearfully, his chest tightened for unknown reasons.

“I mean that my brother isn’t the type who goes around telling people such cute things. On the contrary. He’s rarely utterer of nice words and has this awful habit of keeping everything to himself, including his thoughts and/or feelings towards others.” Lacie explained, her voice still nice and smooth, with a slight hint of characteristic mischievousness, even though she always talked a lot at once. “That’s part of his… hum… charm? Well, I don’t know if I can say that, but it’s definitely a part of his extremely complicated personality.”

Jack giggled. “Yeah, I would also say it’s part of his charm.” The short silence that followed made him rethink his words and he proceeded in a rush to keep up the conversation before it turned embarrassing. “But it keeps it really hard to up with, don’t you think, Lacie?”

She seemed less energetic now, still smoothing Jack’s locks with her pale fingers. “Definitely. But you still put up with him. I am his sister, so it’s not like I have a choice but… I wonder… why do _you_?”

Jack frowned at the question. It was weird question and he hadn’t asked himself before. He found the answer pretty quickly, though, reciting the words as if they had come out of an instruction’s book. “Because of you, Lacie, of course.”

Lacie raised an eyebrow. There he was again. That Jack that smiled so wickedly and falsely and agreed to her every wish and only told her pretty words with no sense or feeling in it. She hated that doggy-mode of his, but never really said anything, because she knew things would only get worse. It made her mad, though, that Jack was so weird around her and mainly _because_ of her. She really liked him, more than she would ever admit, and so she wished to see his true smile once in a while, not that automatic curvature of lips he showed in front of her, as if his muscles followed orders. _“Adore Lacie”, “Compliment Lacie”, “Live for Lacie”, “Do everything for Lacie.”_   The girl couldn’t explain that strange feeling, but she found somehow that Jack saw her, even if unconsciously, like some kind of goodness he _had_ to bow to. Well, that was amusing and stimulating in a sense, but it was above all extremely sad. And it made Lacie mad and sad as well, because, over everything else, she wanted Jack to love her by himself, not after some warped ideal he had made up for his own protection. This, of course, she would never recognize, not to the world and especially not to herself.

Her smile was gone when she talked. “You mean you hang out with my brother _just_ because of me.”

Jack hesitated. Was that some kind of trick? A trap? What was he supposed to answer? “I… suppose so? Mostly?”

            Lacie dropped the hairbrush over his lap and landed a hand over his shoulder, leaning forward to rest her chin over the man’s head. Jack felt her weigh with a nervous pleasure and waited with his breath stuck in his lungs. When Lacie talked, she seemed more wistful, not serious, but somehow thoughtful. “Will you tell me my brother means nothing else to you?”

            Jack was suddenly feeling cold, looking down at his own entwined hands to search for a good answer. “N-No.” He ended up answering, much more confident that he had hoped to. “Of course not. I like Oswald. He is my best friend.”

            Lacie moved her chin from the man’s head and moved her hand over Jack’s shoulder in slow circles, just a methodical movement she didn’t really intended. She looked down at the blond crown of hair in front of her and spoke slowly. “Are you serious about that?”

            “Hum… y-yes.” Jack said, confused by the question.

            “You mean for real, right? That you see him as a friend…”

            “Of course.” Jack assured, turning around to look at the girl, worried by her tone.

            She looked down at him, arranging a strand of hair behind his ear. “That is good.” Jack found himself battling the sudden will to stand up and hold the young woman into his arms, for she seemed so sad without actually letting it out. He wouldn’t, of course. He was not allowed, by his own rules, to act so rashly, so he gulped in silence. “Jack?” She asked, wanting a confirmation of his presence, as if he weren’t staring at her.

            “Yes?” He answered, insecure.

            “I want you to stay that way, okay?”

            Jack’s expression didn’t change, yet his eyes mirrored plain confusion. “What?”

            Lacie sighed. “I would like you to stay his friend. Just that.”

            “Why… would you tell me something like that?” The man asked, still not sure what that was all about. “It’s not like I will-”

            “You know that… life is hard sometimes. And people do things sometimes. Not always because they want to, but because they _have_ to. They make things we can think are mistakes and hurt us really badly. You know that as well as I do, I suppose.” Jack nodded, still lost in her words. “That includes friends, of course.”

            “What do you mean by that?” Jack cut, surprising himself by the anxiousness in his voice.

            “That I want you to stay by my brother’s side. Even if he does things that might hurt you, someday. I want you know that he didn’t mean it, to get over it and remain friends with him.” She forced a small smile now, as she caressed Jack’s face. Her gaze, in the other hand, was far lost somewhere else, some though or plan or ide that Jack couldn’t reach. “You are very important to my brother, right? I mean, he told you those nice stuffs and all! When there comes a time he might feel lonely, please stay by his side, okay? He may be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he is still my brother and I don’t want him to be all alone.”

            This time Jack let out a low laugh that expressed everything but amusement. “There’s no need for all that. I’m sure you will be there whenever he needs. He will never be alone with you by his side…” He was impressed by the subtle way his smile faded and the words slowly died in his throat. Because Lacie’s red eyes turned darker, the smile on her face turned gloomier and a whole overwhelming wave of sadness crashed Jack all of a sudden, without the man knowing how or why. He hesitated, mouth dry and heart pumping. “L-Lacie…”

            That dizzying feeling disappeared the moment Lacie’s hands caught his braid with dreamy intention. When Jack looked up, the girl’s face was once again cheerful and bright, as it usually was. “You have one hell of a long hair, Jack!”

            “A-Ah…” Jack stuttered, still shaken by the previous nostalgic aura so suddenly broken by that comment.

            Lacie took his hands now and pulled him up. “How about we do something else?”

            She was so smiley and happy as Jack complied her wishes that the man started wondering if he hadn’t imagined that painful look of her a moment ago. He forgot about it immediately when Lacie crashed her body against his, putting a hand over his shoulder and with the other held his high. Jack was so dumbfounded by the sudden closeness that he took some time to realize what kind of pose was that. “Let’s dance, Jack!”

            “Hum... what?” The man asked in astonishment, yet smiling and instinctively adjusting his position and placing a hand on Lacie’s lower back.

            “I said “dance”.” The girl repeated, starting to move her feet.

            Jack, once again instinctively, followed her. They were then walking around the room in rhythmic and nimble steps, ever so naturally as slightly. Because of that, the man’s words were contradictory. “But there is no music.”

            Lacie’s chuckle filled the room with its liveliness, making her partner’s cheeks flush. She was so beautiful, he repeated in his mind, for it didn’t matter how many times he thought so, it didn’t seem to change. “We don’t need that. You’re doing pretty well.”

            Her skirts flew amply when she turned, holding Jack’s hand, and immediately closed distance between them once again. They moved in such synchrony one wouldn’t believe they hadn’t planned the act. Lacie danced dreamily in the man’s strong and guiding arms, smiling all the way. Maybe it was natural for them to connect like that, easily and without thinking. The thought made her happy in a weird way. Jack, in the other hand, moved swiftly and by pure instinct, his skills impossible to go unnoticed, dazed by Lacie’s stunning beauty and overwhelmed by the happiness it brought him just to be able to be holding her like that.

            “You are a terrific dancer.” Lacie praised, sincere.

            “I ought not to accept such compliment coming from you, Lacie.” Jack answered with a loving smile.

            Lacie leaned backwards and Jack’s hand firmly held her back. The girl felt her heart beating fast in her chest, Jack’s proximity in that moment making her feel dizzy. His lips were so close to her own that she wouldn’t need much more than rise a few centimetres for them to kiss and, in that intimate moment, all of her guts cried out for her to do so quickly. Because Jack was appallingly handsome and kind, it wasn’t a surprise at all that uneasy feeling in her chest. She wished to hold on to him, to crash her lips against his and to drown in that pure lust itching through her veins. She also knew she could perfectly do it with Jack. She could do anything with Jack or to Jack, knowing he wouldn’t protest no matter what. That knowledge is what made her hesitate. Because, despite being so close and having her so vulnerable, he didn’t look like he was going to advance. He stared at her with a bruising neutrality, his lips curved in a happy grin. Not a wanting one, not a lustful one. He seemed just happy, looking at her like a little puppy would look at his beloved master after a great walk in the park. Lacie’s anxiety grew into disappointment as she gazed at the man. He wasn’t into her, not the way she wanted. No matter how hard the young woman tried, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that Jack’s affection for her crossed the borders of meaningless obsession. It hurt her more than she could tell.

            She couldn’t believe the weight of the relief washing over her when someone knocked at the door. She promptly stood up, Jack helping her, like the fair gentleman he always was. Lacie took a deep breath and walked to the door. The figure standing outside made the young woman’s heart pleasurably skip a beat. “Brother.”

            Oswald took a look inside the room and spotted Jack by the window, smiling at him. It was always strange for him to walk on Jack and Lacie and it always made him uneasy for some reason. He tried to convince himself that weird feeling was only his protective instinct towards his sister sounding, but it was not like he believed Jack would ever hurt her. Still imagining them together didn’t make him as happy as he knew it should. And that fact was only one of the great amount of things that made him feel like a terrible person. “I am very sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt anything.”

            “Oh, no!” Lacie cheered, holding on to Oswald’s arms to make him enter the room. “You came just in time!”

            “In time for what?” The man asked, following his sister with no hesitation.

            Lacie’s not-so-real smile was already comfortable on her face, as she tried to forget that sore feeling in her chest. “To dance!” Everyone stood silent for a second, processing her words. Offended by the lack of answer, Lacie spoke again. “What is it?!”

            “Ah… We were dancing right now, that’s what she means.” Jack explained Oswald, smiling and scratching the back of his head in a shy variation of awkwardness.

            “Hum… Good, then.” Oswald stated, not really impressed or excited about the fact. “I didn’t know you were coming, Jack.” He continued.

            “Oh, well, I came straight here today.  So how are you feeling? Any better?”

            Oswald took a moment to understand what the blond was referring to. “Oh, I’m fine.”

            “Great!” Lacie cut. “Then you are certainly up for a dance!”

            “Dance? I don’t think so.” Oswald answered right away.

            “Doesn’t Os- Glen like dancing?” Jack asked, curious.

            Oswald’s already grumpy expression turned even grumpier. “No.”

            Lacie laughed cheerfully, still holding on to his arm. “Brother is a terrible dancer!”

            “L-Lacie…”

            “It’s true and you know it!” She continued, teasing being her second nature. “I wonder how I still have both feet after all the times you stepped on me!”      

This time Jack was the one laughing. “He can’t be _that_ bad, can he?”

“Oh, he can. Describing him as having two left feet would be an understatement of how bad he is.”

“Are you done making fun of me like if I’m not here?” Oswald demanded, his expressionless face obviously showing signs of annoyance.

Jack stepped closer, grinning at him with mischievously. “Wow… Something Lord Future Glen doesn’t excel at. I am stunned having in mind you’re the man who can put down everyone with just a sword in you hands.”

“Shut up, Jack.” The man snapped, not amused at all.

“Well, since you’re here we could try to teach you something, no?”

“No.” Oswald answered Lacie, turning to face her with menacing eyes. As menacing as he could for his beloved sister, at least.

“Go on, Glen.” Jack incited, grabbing Oswald’s shoulders. “Lacie is an excellent dancer, I’m sure it will be fun!”

“Oh, I was not talking about me, silly!” Lacie shouted, cheerful.

Oswald and Jack stopped their about-to-start argument to stare at the girl. “What do you mean?”

Lacie was so playful it scared both men. “I was saying _you_ will dance.”

“You mean _you_ as in Glen and me?” Jack asked, confused.

“That’s exactly what I meant.”

“B-But…” Jack stuttered, starting to feel his cheeks hot picturing the scene. “That certainly wouldn’t do. I’m not much of a teacher. Lacie would do a great work at that, I’m sure.”

The girl laughed again. “After all these years I was never able to make Oswald seem half decent dancing, so believe me, it won’t do. Actually, maybe his lack of dancing skills is what makes him always so not fond of balls and female company.”

The thought stroke Jack as a brilliant one. “That makes a lot of sense! So Oswald is shy with women because he can’t dance!”

“That is wrong in all possible ways.” Oswald affirmed, completely uncomfortable by the way that talk was taking.

“Maybe we should try, no?” Jack asked, suddenly excited with the idea.

“You go for it. Since we don’t have music, I shall stay here watching and maybe humming something for it to get easier?”

“Seems like a plan.” Jack agreed. Then his eyes landed on Oswald’s as he bouncily held on to his imaginary skirts to slightly bow, as a maiden would in a ball. “Would you be willing to offer me a dance, gentleman?”

After a second of silence, Oswald stared at the oh-so-awkward image in front of him and feared his cheeks would turn red. They didn’t, as Oswald wasn’t a man to blush too easily. He turned after a moment without warning, closing his eyes and getting ready to leave the room. “I am going now.”

Lacie chuckled at her brother’s reaction and Jack reached for his friend, pulling him back towards himself. Oswald was taken by surprise with this movement. Suddenly face to face with Jack, the man felt a sudden panic taking over him. “Jack, I will not-”

“It will be fine.” The Vessalius didn’t seem uncomfortable at all as he pulled his friend’s other hand high. “You need to learn the male role, of course, so you hold me _here_.” Jack added, taking Oswald’s hand with no permission and placing it on his own back, immediately pulling him closer. Oswald froze in his place by Jack’s sudden closeness and that in his head intimate touch. When Jack looked up, his eyes shinned with innocent enthusiasm. “Perfect.”

And, this time, Oswald was not able to avoid blushing, because Jack’s smile was so pretty and so close to him, both looking at each other’s eyes almost on the same level. His heart raced in his chest as it rarely did and he opened his mouth to cry and back away, but couldn’t find the strength to do so. Jack took a first step and he followed by instinct.

Lacie hummed a slow song as she said she would, and patiently watched the men walking around the room. It was nothing but hilarious. That song was paused many times, as she started laughing when her brother stumbled over his or Jacks’ feet, which happened too frequently. He was so sweetly embarrassed at the beginning but was now growing furious and frustrated, growling at Jack’s remarks and chuckles. Jack, in the other hand, was perfectly comfortable, trying to guide Oswald the best way he could, what was indeed a hard task, because Jack was that cheerful and childish creature by nature. He bit back a moan once or twice when Oswald stepped on him and snapped something that dwelled between apologetic and you-deserved-it-vengeful, but the Vessalius ended up laughing any way.

It was a beautiful picture, and Lacie’s feelings towards it were nothing else but contradictory. In one hand it felt really great to be able to watch those men, the only two men she truly cared about, interacting so naturally. Oswald’s embarrassment hided a certain unconscious amusement. It was Jack’s presence that made him act like that, that made him drop that stern and cold mask he held on to so tightly every day. Jack was laughing and it was not the forced laugh she used to hear. And that wide smile was not the fake one he always held onto in front of her. She could tell he truly was happy, sloppily wandering around with her clumsy brother in his arms, even if he probably didn’t notice it. It made her feel so happy, and, in the other hand, somehow sad. That because she wanted to be able to see Jack smile as happily for her, but she was she couldn’t have him do it.

            Both men were complete opposites and yet they both had too much in common. One hid being a heartless facade, trying to keep the world away because he didn’t feel worthy of it. The other hid behind a bright smile and cheerful attitude, trying to keep the world close because he was afraid of being left behind. With differing behaviours, they were the same: lost and scared. Lacie knew the reason of Oswald’s grief and it also killed her not being able to ease his pain. About Jack, Lacie regretted not being able to decipher the darkness hidden behind those bright eyes. For she was the cause of their pain, she admitted, and it made of her a terrible person, a girl born to bring only misery to the ones she loved.

            Jack kept grinning while leading Oswald’s gauche self in what he hoped would become more consistent dance steps. The Baskerville was well aware of his perfectly idiotic figure as he glared down at Jack, lost between flustered (or a slight variation of so, because Oswald Baskerville didn’t blush) and angry. “Stop grinning. I’m out.”

            “No, no, no, you’re doing well!” Jack held him tighter, pulling the man even closer to prevent him from running away. Oswald was caught by surprise once again and followed by intuition, still irreversibly annoyed. “Shut up.”

            This time Jack let out a laugher and violently turned, pulling his partner along. Oswald was shocked when he felt Jack’s breath against his ear, making him wide his eyes. “One thing I grant you, ladies will be surely impressed by your dancing skills... only probably not the best reasons…”

            Then the fall happened. It was too quick to follow. Oswald took a step to follow Jack’s but finished by stomping over his partner’s foot. Jack grimaced in pain but wasn’t in time to stop himself. Next thing Jack was falling backwards, Oswald was carried by him and with a deaf thump, they were laying on the floor.

            Jack had a hard time as all air left his lungs when his back hit the floor with stunning strength and, to make it harder, his chest was crushed by his partner’s heavy weight. He struggled to breathe within moans, his head also hurt by the fall, and was able to when Oswald used both of his arms to hold his trunk up. Next thing Jack was looking up and the pain seemed to disappear in that instant, for over him, close enough to reach for, Oswald’s face stared down at him, purple eyes wide opened in awe. Jack wasn’t able to explain why he froze, why his heart stopped in his chest and why his blood seemed to rush faster through his veins. It made no sense and he wasn’t able to explain why that image made him unable to move or think. And he couldn’t, of course, tell that Oswald was feeling exactly the same, in one hand too conscious of the awkward position and dangerous situation, in the other too astonished to feel his own muscles, much less to order them to move.

            “Oh my god! Are you okay?!” Lacie cried out, running to them and eventually waking them up from that scary trance.

            Oswald got off of Jack as quickly as he could, instantly aware of the man’s fall and held his head and arm to make him sit. “Jack?”

            Jack felt dizzy, but then was sit and had the Baskerville siblings on the floor, staring at him in concern. His chest hurt when he laughed in embarrassment. “Ups.”

            “Are you felling alright?” Lacie demanded, holding his hand between hers.

            “I should call a doctor.” Oswald decided, standing up.

            “No, no, no!” Jack shouted, his head complaining right away. “I’m okay, I’m okay. You don’t need to worry, I’m fine.”

            “You fell really hard!” Lacie stated, full of concern. “Are you sure you can move.”

            “Yeah. I’m sure.” Jack answered and mentioned to get up. Oswald instantly lowered to pull the man’s arm over his shoulders and help him stand. “I’m fine, Glen, thanks.”

            “We should definitely go see a doctor.” He stated, far from amused.

Jack answered with a laugh, his thoughts already clear and setting in place. “You are overreacting. I’m alright. It was just a harsh fall.”

Oswald stared at him one second. “Are you sure?”

Jack smiled and backed away from him, caressing the back of his hurt head. “I’m absolutely sure.”

Lacie left out a sigh of relief and then her expression turned amused again. She spoke while holding back a chuckle. “You should have seen it. It was an award winning fall.”

Jack laughed, in part to hide his own embarrassment. “I do imagine so…”

“I am sorry.” Oswald asked, once again cold. “But it was you who dragged me into this. Be this a warning. I am going now.”

Both Jack and Lacie could perfectly read how ashamed the man was as he walked out of the room. Lacie shrugged, still grinning. “He’s a lost cause, I suppose. But it was a nice try.”

Jack smiled at her as well. “I should also go by now. Is it okay?”

“Sure. Will you be fine on your own after that fall?”

“I am absolutely fine, I told you. Thanks for the pleasing afternoon, I’ll come to see you tomorrow!” He cried out, while walking to the door. He disappeared pretty quickly and Lacie was left alone again. She sighed, weirdly content for the funny moment she had been able to witness.

The girl walked to the window and saw Oswald’s dark figure getting out of the tower and walking on the fresh green grass. He was soon followed by Jack, who reached him in a run and then started walking beside him. The blonde held hands behind his back and leaned forward to look up at Oswald, but her brother crashed his palm against the Vesalius’s face to make him stop. She saw Jack laughing as he took Oswald’s hand to keep it away and Oswald looking. She could only imagine what they were saying, but it was a strangely heart-warming picture.

“Amaaaazing, isn’t it?~”

Lacie jumped in her place and turned around in fear hearing that voice spoken into her ear. She would have recognized it right away wasn’t it the surprise and she grimaced looking at the white haired man grinning at her. “Hum. You. Don’t come and scare me like this! There is a door, you could at least knock at.”

“Oh, but it wouldn’t be so fun.” Levi sang.

“What are you doing here, anyway? _How long_ have you been here?”

“Oh, I’ve been here for a while now, outside the door. The boys went out without even noticing me, how funny is that?”

Lacie raised an eyebrow in annoyance. “You mean you’ve been peeking.”

“No, no, no! No way I would do such thing!” Levi said, childishly. “I was just peacefully leaning against the door to hear whatever was going on. Because I didn’t mean to interrupt you, of course!”

“Tch. Freak.” Lacie commented, not really happy. That man was able to piss her off, but being used to his weird behaviour turned it easier to just let it go.

“I prefer the word _extravagant_.” Levi answered, and then followed Lacie’s gaze, once again stuck on the men walking away from the place. “Amazing isn’t it?” He repeated. “How incredibly intimate those two have become. I still remember that super awkward first meeting!”

Lacie softly chuckled at the memory: Oswald making a whole deep and creepy speech and Jack throwing water at his face. “You thought my brother was gay.” She reminded.

“Oh, I still do, my darling.” Levi beamed and then leaned over the window’s parapet next to Lacie. “But the thing is that I still remember how scared they were of each other. I still think they are, if you ask me, so I can’t really understand their relationship at all.”

“They are not scared of each other.” Lacie stated, her voice harsher than she wanted. “They are friends.”

Levi’s chuckle made her uneasy, even more made his piercing purple eyes when she looked up. “No, dear Lacie. You want to believe they are fully connected, but that is not true. You see it as well as I do, but you wish not to admit it. Their relationship, be it what it is, is not based in trust. We are both well aware of the secrets kept between them, don’t we? Oswald is not willing to tell his mate the truth about his purpose. And Jack Vessalius… is an interesting man who hides much more and darker secrets than we could imagine…” Lacie had looked away, thoughtful, and the fact made Levi satisfied. “Yet you want it, don’t you? For that relationship to grow stronger and remain.”

“Nonsense.” The girl snapped, holding back a burning anger.

Levi’s grin grew bigger. “Of course you do. You want them to be friends above all, so that they can handle it all when you are gone.” The girl’s murdering gaze gave him more will to continue. “You know you will leave them behind and it hurts you but I understand, my dear! You love those men and you don’t want them to suffer because of your demise. You desperately hope your existence, that brought them together, won’t also separate them for good. And that would be a nice thing if they were both normal men. But knowing how messed up they are… how healthy can that kind of friendship be, dear Lacie?”

“They will manage something.” Lacie affirmed, determinate, staring out of the window once again. She felt furious for not being able to deny Levi’s words. So she smiled sarcastically. “It’s not like I care that much. Of course I would like Oswald not to be too sad with my demise, but he will get through it because he’s the next Glen and he knows of his duty. Nothing, not even that Vessalius dog will be enough to mislead him, so if that is your concern, it is futile.”

Lacie didn’t look at Levi again, for she was afraid her faked smile would vanish if she did. She stared down at the already far away man and did her best not to let the actual Glen know about the aching pain in her chest. For he was right in everything he said. She knew they were both weird in different ways, she knew their relationship was twisted and that they were meant to be bitterly separated by her death. Yet she wished with all of her heart, a heart she tried in vain to ignore since long ago, that they would make it through, that they would find in each other strength to go on when she wouldn’t be there anymore. She had faith. A faith she denied for a wish she discarded, but it was there: the faith that it would work out. That some happiness would follow her loved ones when the Abyss destroyed her.

A sad smile drew itself on her face.

She also knew that faith was worth nothing in her world.


	3. To Smile

Oswald was sat at his desk that afternoon, reading and analysing some documents Levi had asked him to. Because yes, Levi thought his work as the head of such a great Dukedom a pain in the neck and found always something better to do than paperwork. Oswald could’ve said no and he probably should, but still Levi was his mentor and he had nothing else to do so, that morning, accepting to help seemed a bright idea. Now, already tired of reading and dying for a cup of tea, the man couldn’t concentrate on his work due to attentive green eyes that followed his every move. Oswald sighed in irritation and threw the document he was holding over the table to look up at the man watching him. “What is it that you want, exactly?”

Jack’s expression didn’t change at all. “Nothing special. I told you already.”

Oswald closed his eyes to take a deep breath. The Vessalius man had arrived a couple of hours ago and since then just sat there, in front of the desk, his chin resting over his arms, which rested over the back of the chair, and looked at Oswald. It was hard to do whatever it was when his friend kept observing him so nonchalantly. “Why don’t you go away already? I know you must have more interesting things to do.”

“Nothing, really.” Jack answered, shrugging. “I’m fine here.”

Oswald had to make an effort to remain calm. Could that man be so clueless? Or was he just having fun? “Look, I have work to do. If you coul-”

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Come in.” He said.

A maid came into the room with a tea board and laid it over the desk. “Thank you.” Oswald said, expressionless, holding his cup like one would hold to dear life. The maid left with a respectful bow. Jack’s eyes didn’t leave Oswald’s face the twenty seconds the moment took.

“I know what your problem is.”

Jack’s intervention in the silent room took Oswald by surprise, making his hand waver and consequently burn his lip with the hot tea. Putting the cup down and biting his lower lip to calm the pain, the man looked forward, angry. “What are you talking about?”

A smile was now drawn on Jack’s face, he seeming very enthusiastic. “I am saying I found out what your main problem is.”

“Problem in what area?” Oswald asked, hesitant. “Should I feel offended?”

Sitting straight, Jack proceeded, as if his saying was far beyond obvious. “The problem related to your poor slash non-existent social skills, silly.”

“Okay. Now I’m sure I shall feel offended.”

“No, no, no! I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Os- Glen.” Jack assured, his smile amused as he stood up and walked around the desk to join the other. “It is a pure fact. I thought we had already gotten over it.”

Oswald took a deep breath before looking up at his friend, who now stood beside him, sat over the desk and consequently over his paperwork. He tried his best not to matter. “And do I want to know what my problem is?”

“Of course you do. Only knowing it we can _fix_ it, right?”

The word “scared” wasn’t enough to describe how Oswald felt now. The fact Jack used the pronoun “we” didn’t help.

“It is your smile, Oswald. I mean Glen!” Jack decided, confident.

Oswald raised an eyebrow in pure confusion. “My…. _Smile_ …”

“Exactly!” Jack exclaimed, excited with his discovery.

One second of silence. Two. Three. It became awkward as Jack feared to move an inch. Then finally Oswald acted, looking down at his paperwork once again. “Great. Now if you don’t mind, I would love to finish this.”

Jack’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Hum? What?”

Oswald looked up again, calmly. “Wasn’t that all?”

“No! I mean, yes… But no!”

“Would you mind deciding? You’re wasting my time.”

Jack leaned forward to talk. “I’ve been observing you for two hour now.”

“I don’t feel particularly safe when you refer to me as a rare species under research.”

Jack laughed. “It’s not like that, you know. But still, I found it interesting. Three times that nice maid came in. Three times she brought you tea and three times you said “Thank you” with your deep voice.” He said, trying to imitate Oswald’s tone, but making it seem ridiculous instead.

The Baskerville squinted his eyes. “I don’t talk like that.”

“And yet do you know how many times I saw you smile?” Jack asked, ignoring his friend’s interruption. “Zero. How is that possible?”

Oswald thought for a second. He had no idea whether he had smiled or not, but couldn’t find any reason to. He had never been the smiley type and never bothered about that. But the way Jack stated the fact made him feel guilty somehow. “I _did_ say thank you.” He stated, trying to defend himself.

“Yes. Which means you are polite.”

“What are you trying reach with all that talk?” Oswald asked, already impatient.

Jack joined his hands and frowned for a second, as a patient teacher thinking of an easy way to make a child understand a touchy subject. That fact upset Oswald even more. “The thing is that being polite is not _enough_ to reach people. The fact that you say “thank you” is fine, but people will not really believe your good intentions if your facial expression is… that.”

“What do you mean by “that”? Have you a problem with my face or something?”

“No! No, not at all!” Jack affirmed, holding back a laugh at his friend’s reaction. His smile was kind as he spoke, absently. “You have a pretty face, the problem is not that. The problem is that you don’t _use_ it. Do you get me?”

Oswald raised an eyebrow, still somehow lost in the brief moment Jack talked about his “pretty face”. After a short thought, he asked, genuinely confused. “How do you expect me or anyone else to “use a face”?”

Jack huffed, showing some hints of impatience and supported his feet on the border of Oswald’s chair. “See, being gorgeous is not enough. And even though your dark aura might attract some, it won’t do with regular women, our main target.”

“Would you please stop referring to people in such terms?”

“Let me finish, Glen. A smile is taken by many as… a manifestation of good will. If you smile at a person, she will most likely feel like talking to you. And if you don’t, well, that person will think you don’t like her company or are just being rude. I am saying you could smile once in a while.”

“I do smile.” Oswald affirmed, but the determination of his words died soon enough. “I think…” The thing is that he could not remember having smiled for real.

“You do.” Jack affirmed. “You just don’t do it very often. And you smile so shyly it is difficult for someone who doesn’t know you well enough to notice it. I mean smile like in “smile”. Curving lips, showing teeth?” Jack parted his lips and pulled back the corners of his mouth to show his white teeth in a ridiculously huge and comic smile. “Li’e dish!”

Oswald’s reaction was completely involuntary, watching his friend acting so childishly. Jack’s expression passed through surprise and then turned tender. “That’s it!”

Oswald softly raised an eyebrow. “What is what?”

“That right now!” Jack affirmed, shaking his head. For some reason that vision had made his heart race for a second, but he preferred to ignore the fact. “It was a smile!”

 The future Duke stared in confusion. Had he smiled? What? How could that be? He felt awkward all of a sudden. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jack chuckled at the other’s reaction. “That is your smile. The one you don’t plan at all. But it comes so smoothly it won’t do, as I said!”

“And what do you expect me to do then?”

“Well, you shall practice, I suppose?” Jack proposed.

This was coming out all too ridiculously. “You want me to “train” smiling…?”

“Yes. You can start.”

One second of silence. Two. Three.

“I won’t do it, Jack.” Oswald decided, determined.

“C’mon, Glen. You can do it!”

“I won’t.”

“Just once.”

“No way.”

“Glen, you are making it harder on yourself.”

“I won’t smile like you, Jack. It just won’t happen.”

“Why not? Just try!”

“It would be pointless.”

“But trying won’t do any harm, will it?”

Oswald looked up at Jack. The man was so optimistic about it that the dark haired just wanted to make him stop. It took him a long minute of consideration, but Jack’s expectations didn’t waver. So, with a deep, pained sigh, Oswald did try. And failed miserably.

Jack was too damn amused, what made Oswald want to hit him. He didn’t, though, he just looked away, shaming himself for being such an idiot. “Get out, Jack.”

“No, I’m sorry!” It had been more of a weird grimace than an actual smile, and Jack couldn’t help but find it funny. “I’m sorry. It was… good. A good try!”

Oswald’s gaze was murderer. “Get. Out.”

“Your cheeks are too tense, Glen. That’s where the trick lies. You need to chill out. Come here.” The blond said, but didn’t wait for the other to obey as he leaned forward to reach Oswald’s face with his hands, gently pinching his cheeks in a failed attempt to make him smile.

Oswald was completely astonished, feeling that overwhelmed the previous anger, and so he stood paralysed for a moment. Jack was there, right in front of him and touching his cheeks totally casually. How more awkward could this situation get? He convinced himself it was the embarrassment that made his heart beat so roughly against his ribcage.

Jack seemed radiantly happy. “Smile, Oswald!”

The men stared at each other for a long, long moment, a moment that became just unbearably long. So Oswald backed away from Jack’s touch, his cheeks flushed in a rare case. He closed his eyes while gathering his papers. “Well, I am very sorry my smile, or lack of it, isn’t enough for you.”

“Oh, don’t get mad at me, O-Glen!” Jack begged, leaning in even closer. “It’s not like it’s “not enough” for me. It is actually more than enough for me! But the way you naturally smile, as you curve your lips ever so slightly, in spite of being adorable to me, is probably misunderstood by others, you see?”

When Jack finished the sentence, he realized Oswald had suddenly frozen on his spot. In a quick review to what he had just said, Jack mentally slapped himself and felt his cheeks turning red. He still wondered how could he say such embarrassing things so recklessly around Oswald. He only did it around Oswald, and he still did not know why.

Oswald took a closed fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, doing his best not to let it show how uncomfortable Jack’s words had just made him. _More than enough to him? Adorable to him?_ What was that supposed to mean?! He spoke lost between feeling flattered and ashamed. “W-Well, that’s just the way it is. Can I get back to business now?”

Watching his friend handling the paperwork once again, Jack smirked at a new idea. “You know what else?”

“I don’t think I want to know anything else.” Oswald answered without looking up.

Jack jumped off the desk and grabbed the Baskerville’s arm to pull him up. Oswald was caught by surprise and stood with no other option. “W-What are you doing?” Instead of answering, Jack held his friend’s coat’s collar and started pulling it down to undress Oswald. “W-W-What is- Jack!” Oswald shouted, assertive, stepping back to stay out of Jack’s reach, looking completely horrified (or as much as his barely changing expression allowed). “What do you think you’re doing, Jack?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Glen, but I just thought of something! Please take off your jacket!”

“What?! No!” Oswald answered with no hesitation. “No way in hell!”

“C’mon!” Jack pleaded, stepping closer again. “Just for me to try something?”

Oswald hesitated this time. “What would I win by doing such mindless thing?”

Jack looked up, thoughtful. “Well, I promise I’ll leave you alone if you let me try this, okay? Please? You’ve been working all afternoon, think of it as a break.”

Strangest break he’d ever take, Oswald thought. Still he let out a long, pained sigh and took off his jacket. “Happy?”

Jack’s smile grew brighter. “Almost.” Then he took off his own jacked. Oswald looked mistrusting as the man walked around him and asked him to stretch back both arms. Then Jack was dressing Oswald with his own lively green jacket. Then he ran back to his starting place, to stare at Oswald.

One second of silence. Two. Three.

And then Jack couldn’t hold on anymore and left out a muffled chuckle. It was just…. Strange. In the funniest way. The Vessalius had never seen his friend wearing nothing but black or soft variations of the colour. Seeing him wearing such colourful coat was completely out of character, not talking about the fact that it was kind of tight, and so it all seemed even worse.

Oswald, of course, was perfectly aware of his ridiculous image, and more so when Jack laughed of him. His cheeks flushed a light pink as embarrassment finally overtook the initial shock brought by the odd situation. “Jack!”

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Jack said, smirking. “It’s just… strange…”

“What was your idea?!”

“Well, I kind of figured you do always wear such dark clothes. I thought maybe that made you seem more gloomy and unreachable. And I supposed maybe some colour would be nice on you. I don’t know. But I suppose you are a man of black. No doubt about that now. Still my intentions were pure, I swear!”

Annoyance was visible in Oswald’s eyes as he struggled to take off his friend’s garment. “Well, it was probably the worst idea you ever had.”

“Let me help you with that.” Jack offered walking in Oswald’s direction, still grinning.

Oswald didn’t refuse, but kept silent has Jack pulled his arms off of the sleeves. “Well...” Jack mumbled, sneering. “Black looks good enough on you, I guess.”

“Do you have any problem with the colour black or is it just my impression?” Oswald asked, his voice low and serious as always, wearing his own jacket and feeling instantly relieved.

“Not really.” Jack answered, looking at his hands stroking the tissue of the coat in his hands, suddenly unheeding. That image made the future Glen stop in his place and stare for some unknown reason. Attracted by those green emeralds that were Jack’s eyes, as it happened too often, and this time for no good reasons. Oswald couldn’t tell what his friend was thinking of, but he could see that that smile was off somehow, a trace lost within an ambiguous and yet real melancholy. “But people tend to associate bad stuff to “dark”, isn’t it? There must be a meaning behind it, right? Sometimes I wonder if good and evil can also be so easily defined as opposites, like black and white, or light and shadow.”

Crashed by those simple words that could’ve been ripped from his own mind, Oswald gulped in silence. He wondered now, too. A person who makes bad things is evil. It seems that simple. But is it? Could it be that a person who makes bad things, by mistake or choice, is never worthy of seeing light? Is her soul only pitch black, even if tainted by a single fault? Is there no redemption? No evil excusable even if practiced in the name of something good?

His heart ached because he wished it was not true. And he wished Jack thought it was not true. “What do you think about it?”

Jack looked up at Oswald, in one moment thoughtful, the next wearing a nice smile. “I wonder… But I never really got an answer.”

That moment, Oswald understood that notion was a lie. Because in spite of being so bright, Jack’s smile bared nothing but darkness. He didn’t take a moment to feel relief over it though, overwhelmed by a sharp pain shaking his bones.

A soft laugh abandoned Jack’s lips, but seemed everything but amused. “Black just somehow a sad colour, to me. Don’t you think the same?” That smile, as it didn’t often happened, reached his beautiful eyes. Green, shinning eyes pestering Oswald with that same eery and miserable feeling he could not shake off.

            The answer came unwanted. “I don’t think so.”

Jack seemed surprise now. “Yeah? Then what is the saddest colour for you?”

            It was a simple, supposedly atmosphere-changing question. Yet it didn’t work.

            Because Oswald could only stare into Jack’s eyes and see it, that unmeasurable and consuming sadness. “Green.” He answers. “Green is the saddest colour, for me.”


	4. To Practice

Oswald didn’t sleep the whole night. Midnight it was when he woke up, standing up, happy his previous headache was mostly gone and, fairly rested and with no will to sleep any longer, he sat on his comfy armchair to read a book. It was some collection of dark poems he liked somehow and it was a nice way to pass time, as he knew sleep was an uncertain ground where both dreams and nightmares could await. He just didn’t want to dream. Because in his dreams he saw but dark feathers and monsters, he saw his sister and he felt sad and angry and lost and he couldn’t do anything to change that.  The few nice dreams he had were not enough to make up for all the hellish nightmares. And because of all that, sleeping was always a last resource.

The man was caught by surprise when he heard a sudden and quick knot on his window. Mind suddenly focused, he raised an eyebrow, once again so slightly that reading his mistrust would be hard for foreigners, and stood up. Another knock on the window. He got closer to it and waited a second to examine the landscape, but he saw only the sky and moon outside. Then he opened the window and looked down at the yard.

A groan escaped his mouth when he felt the tiny rock hitting him right in the forehead, making him stumble back in shock and bring his hand up to the aching zone. Gritting teeth in annoyance, he got to the window again and stared down with an enraged gaze this time.

Jack seemed stuck in a mood between sacredly amused and comically terrified, bearing Oswald’s gaze with reluctance and fear. “H-H… Hi!” He stuttered nervously.

The Baskerville narrowed his eyes at him, dreary, skin sore where the pebble hit. “What the hell do you think you are doing, Jack?”

“I… I came to see you?” The man tried, scratching the back of his head. “Are you feeling any better? I heard you were having some headaches again…” He added.

Oswald narrowed his eyes even more. “It’s midnight. Don’t come at people’s houses throwing rocks at their windows and disturbing their sleep without a plausible reason. And I am perfectly fine.” He also added.

“Oh, that’s great! And I have a reason!” Jack said in his defence, actually whispering as loud as he could. “I came to take you somewhere!”

Oswald instantly forgot his vexation as it was replaced by surprise. “You what?”

“Exactly what you heard!” Jack answered, more cheerful now. “Come down, we are going to have some fun tonight!”

“That is absurd. Where would we go at such an hour? Why such silly idea?”

“Oh, c’mon, Os- I mean Glen! Come with me, I’ll show you!”

Oswald thought during a moment but he wasn’t able to find any deeper meaning in that idiotic conversation. Jack didn’t seem drunk, neither did he seem sleepwalking. “Jack, go to sleep.”

“I am serious here, Glen!” He insisted. “Come down, it’ll be exciting! Pretty please?”

He was going to shout a cold “no” and close the window to go back to his book, but something in Jack’s childish eagerness made him hesitate. A long moment he pondered about how he should definitely kick Jack out of Levi’s mansion, but those hungry deep green eyes stood out even in the darkness and shoved away reason. Jack raised his arms, holding some kind of long cloth. “I brought you a cover.” He announced, as if it made his behaviour any more acceptable.

With a deep, contradicted sigh, Oswald closed his window.

Jack was left there standing in the dark, cape in his hands, odd smile on his face. Did Oswald just reject him? Auch.

But then a dark shade came closer from the corner of the building and Jack’s face lit up recognizing his friend. “Glen!”

Oswald approached and took the cape from Jack’s hands without a word, covering his back with it and pulling the big hood over his head. Only then he faced the blond. “Where do you plan to drag me?”

Jack’s smile widened at the adorable reaction of the stern future head of the house. Acting as if Jack was forcing him to go, when in reality he had come down by his own feet, mostly out of curiosity. “It will be fun, I swear! Now let’s get out of here before somebody hears us.” He whispered close to his friend’s ear, taking him by the hand to pull him through the long garden. Oswald didn’t talk and only followed Jack, not able to take his eyes off of the man’s hand, which so firmly grabbed his, leaving it warm and shaky.

They went out of the mansion very easily, as they knew they would. It was obviously not seriously guarded, as Jack’s frequent uncalled visits proved, because any kind of criminals would probably never dare to enter, being the Baskervilles a grand house and having so much power as they did, that even if anybody knew exactly what it was, also knew well enough how monstrous and terrifying.

Jack guided Oswald to the town, both wearing their heavy capes just for precaution, not exactly because somebody would ever recognize them. Not at this hour, at least. “So? Are you telling me where we’re going now?”

The blond man let out a youthful laugh as he walked and looked around at the not-too-crowded streets. “We are just going to have some fun and meet some people, Glen.”

The realization struck Oswald like lightening, making him mentally slap himself for not having thought of it earlier. “Jack, tell me this is not because of wh-”

“C’mon, Glen! We’re not going back now!” Jack affirmed, stopping in his tracks to stare at his friend. Oswald found him too close already and froze in shock when the Vessalius gently clapped both hands over his cheeks and showed a bright smile. “Now relax and enjoy, right?” This said, he turned and started walking again.

Oswald barely managed to follow since he was focusing so hard on not letting all of his blood rush straight to his face when his skin shamelessly missed Jack’s touch.

They walked some more, Jack chatting random stuff about the night in town that left Oswald lightly scared, until the black haired followed the other into some kind of pub. The heavy atmosphere hit him hard and unexpectedly. The smell of smoke and wine, the heat and the loud music made his brain shake receiving such strong whirlwind of sensations. There were many people inside, all of them seeming happy and laughing and squeezing against each other, most of the men holding one or more cups of beer, most of the women wearing so little clothes Oswald didn’t think it was allowed. Half of the room turned their heads to look at the newcomers. “W-What is this place?” He whispered into Jack’s ear to make himself heard over the noise and also because distance seemed not wise in that unknown place.

Jack was smiling as he turned his head to answer, Oswald feeling his hot breath against his cheek. “It is a simple bar, silly. You know? A place where you come to drink and meet people?”

“I know what a bar is.” Oswald growled.

The other just laughed. “Then why are you asking?”

“I meant to ask _why_ are we here!”

“Oh, you still didn’t get it? We came here so that you would relax and have some fun. I told you that already, didn’t I? I want you to meet some people and just amuse yourself.” Now they were fully turned to one another and their faces really close as Jack kept talking, absently smoothing the collar of Oswald’s shirt, now with a tone a bit more serious, yet calm and oddly wise. “All this business about becoming Glen is wearing you out, I can tell. Having you pass out on me the other day made it clear. I know you take it very seriously and all, but I don’t really want you to die over it, okay? So you have to learn to be a little less strict with yourself and to take it easy sometimes. Just having a good time at a random bar in town in the middle of the night with a friend. Seems fine, doesn’t it?” His smile grew bigger. “Doesn’t it?”

It seemed terrible. Terrifying. Oswald wanted to run away from that stinking place and hide under the covers of his comfortable bed. Damn, no matter how much Oswald didn’t want to admit it, he stood away from others for a reason. His childhood experiences with people were in general bad, him and his sister being but bringers of injury and misfortune. He had come to get away from people because he never tried to actually get too close. He just enjoyed being alone as much as he enjoyed spending time in the company of a really restricted group of people he admitted to care about. Entering a random bar and talk to random people in a random night with a random reason seemed just too random for his always restricted way of life. Yet Jack was talking so smoothly, warm breath against his skin, long fingers touching his collar so softly that Oswald found himself not even noticing the incommodious atmosphere surrounding them. Mysterious and creepy, yet bright and stunning, Jack was just like that: shining through no matter where or how, always succeeding at standing out among the rest of the world. Oswald wanted to believe it felt that way to everyone, not only to himself. “It…” He started, just to end up with a close eyed sigh. “…seems fine by me…”

Jack replied with none other than his already present smile and turned to find a table. Oswald followed him closely. They sat down and Jack asked for some drinks as Oswald shrank in his place and tried to go unnoticed. “Gleeen…”

“Hum? What?” Asked Oswald, caught watching around.

Jack laid both elbows over the table and rested his chin on the back of his joined hands. “I said relax. I really meant “relax”.”

“I am relaxed.” Oswald sputtered.

Jack rose an eyebrow and did not bother hiding his grin. “Your shoulders are stiff as rock. I can tell it just by looking at you.”

“You mean like the rock that you threw to my head?” Oswald replied, suddenly reminded of the moment.

“Ah, it really hit your head, uh?” Jack mumbled, embarrassed. “That explains your reddish forehead. I was hoping it hadn’t been me, ya know? I’m very sorry for that.”

“Think about how sorry you are the next time you feel like throwing things at me.”

“Wow, you are really mad, aren’t you? I said I’m sorry!” Jack shouted, even though he kept grinning.

“I’m not mad.” Oswald retorted.

“Really?” Jack asked, pouting.

Oswald had to look away from that pleading expression. “I already said yes.”

Jack smiled at his friend’s grumpy mood. He saw a half drank glass of water over the table and took it, getting hold of the ice cube on its bottom and wrapping it with a napkin. Oswald stared in confusion. “What are y-”

His words died when Jack leaned forward and held the cold napkin against Oswald’s forehead. The black haired froze in shock by the unpredicted gesture, but Jack only smirked at him. “Feeling better?”

Those words woke the Baskerville’s heir and he quickly shoved Jack’s hand away, looking down in embarrassment. “No.” He answered.

Jack looked at his napkin, thoughtful. “Really? That’s weird, since pressing ice against a bruise should make it hurt less…”

“I’m fine, I already told you.” Oswald snapped.

The blond Vessalius answered with a chuckle, amused at his friend’s defensive reaction. He decided not to tease Oswald much more.

A pretty maid came and laid a bottle and two glasses over the table. Jack thanked her with his charming smile that could make any girl blush immediately, and so it did to the maid, who went away quickly. Oswald got lost for a moment, seeing the woman getting close to a friend with dark hairs and whispering in her ear, ending both giggling while looking at Jack. Something in that scene was strangely irritating him.

“Glen?”

The Baskerville slightly shook his head and stared in confusion at the glass Jack held in front of his nose. “Here.”

“What is that?” He asked, suspicious.

“It’s wine, silly. One would think you don’t leave your house!”

“Because I usually don’t.” Oswald mumbled, taking the glass and smelling the liquid. It didn’t seem fine at all, but he still drank. He regretted, of course. Putting his glass down with a slight scowl of distaste, Oswald looked at it in awe. “ _What_ is this?” He repeated.

“It’s wine, I told you. Is there any problem with it?” Jack asked, inspecting and smelling his own glass.

“It is awful.”

“You think so?” Jack asked, after tasting it. “It seems pretty fine by me.”

“Its taste is terrible, too strong and bitter, its smell in accordance. I wonder what kind of grape they used to make this thing…”

After a moment staring at his partner, Jack burst out laughing, making Oswald astonished. “What _is_ it now?”

Jack did his best to regain control. It was so rare for Oswald to talk that much in one sentence, and so displeased with something. Even though for commoners he would seem almost as emotionless as always, for Jack that sight was priceless. “You are so picky, Osw- Glen.”

“I am not picky at all. I am selective. Enough. And this drink is far away from being fine wine.”

“Okay, okay…” Jack agreed. “It’s nothing compared to the wine you use to have back at home, but this is a bar for common people who don’t spend fortunes in drinks. Besides, the objective isn’t to have a great drink, it is to have a nice time. So swallow it without tasting.”

Oswald raised an eyebrow. “Why in hell should I drink something this bad?”

Jack sighed at his clueless friend. “Look, the drink serves only for you to relax. Suck it up. Be a man.”

“I am sorry to disappoint you, Jack, but I am a man already.” Oswald stated, matter-of-factly.

Jack laughed. “One glass at least, c’mon!”

“No.”

“C’moon!”

“I said no.”

“We’ll do it at the same time, come on!”

“Give me a good reason to do such fruitless thing.” Oswald demanded.

“Well… you already have to pay for it since you poured it?” Jack tried. Seeing his partner everything but convinced, he kept on. “Because I am asking you to?” No answer. “Because… I will be really, really glad if you do?” Silence. “Glen, you’re being too complicated. I want to see alcohol affecting your body. Just enough for me to see you _relaxed_. So go on. I was the one who brought you here, I am the experienced one here, so you better follow my advices wisely. Besides, you’re free tonight. No Baskervilles and no responsibilities. Just you and me having a drink like good mates.” Oswald looked down at his glass, thoughtful, as he often looked down at things. “Yes?” Jack asked innocently, raising his glass.

Oswald let out another sigh and raised his drink again. “Just this one.”

Jack laughed as they softly drank their wine and laughed even more when Oswald almost chocked swallowing at once all the liquid. “Awful…” He growled, coughing in disgust.

They chatted from then on, only one glass of wine having much more effect on Oswald than Jack had predicted. It was perfectly visible how the man seemed dizzy, but was at least calm and his shoulders weren’t so stiff so Jack was glad. The music was loud and so were the people, but they were able to talk easily with one another.

Oswald was not disliking the moment. Not that the loud music or the strange people and the odours of tobacco and alcohol were any pleasant, but because Jack’s presence made all of that bearable. It was nice to talk to Jack, to be with Jack, to see him laugh and smile as his cheerful self, to stare into those deep green eyes that still left nothing out and still left Oswald so curious he could barely hold himself back. So maybe he could actually relax a bit and try to “have fun”. He would be able to, as long as Jack was there, he supposed. But there was this tiny detail making him mad. Those two women still staring at Jack and giggling.

 “What are you looking at?” Jack turned his head to look at the previous maid, still amused with her friend in the corner of the room. The knowing grin on his lips screamed danger, making Oswald take up his glass to avoid eye contact. “Hum… So you did like the woman!”

The shock made Oswald accidentally, and equally painfully, hit the glass against his teeth, violently putting it down and holding his chin. “What?”

Jack just chuckled out loud. “You really did.” He affirmed, looking back again. “It’s okay, it’s okay. She is pretty, young and is staring at us. I guess you might have a chance!”

“No way I “might have a chance”.” Oswald repeated, in part not knowing what he meant, and sincerely not caring much.

“Ah, why do you say that?” Jack mumbled, sipping his wine. “They keep on looking. I bet she liked you too.”

“Please, Jack, you know as well as I do it isn’t _me_ she is looking at.” He growled, with a pitch of irritation in his voice.

Jack’s smile disappeared for a second. Of course he knew. He had spent his whole life seducing people, so he was completely conscious of his charm. But what was that tone in Oswald’s voice? Was it…? “Are you jealous, Glen?”

The question was made so bluntly that Oswald blinked twice in disbelief. “Am I what?”

“If you are jealous.”

The man looked down, somewhere between ashamed and angry. _What was actually being jealous?,_ he asked. He was not sure, but he knew that implicated liking one of the involved persons and that fact didn’t please him at all. “Don’t be ridiculous. I am not jealous.”

The straightforward answer gave Jack enough material to conclude he was right. “It’s okay to be jealous, I understand. They are both pretty beautiful and are looking at me, but that is only because you keep standing there coiled in your seat with a grumpy face.”

Oswald felt insulted for some reason. “I am not grumpy.”

His denial was starting to get annoying, Jack decided, so he stood up and held Oswald’s arm to drag him up. Standing reluctantly, the dark haired man talked. “What are you doing, Jack?”

“We are going to talk to them!” He announced, super happy.

“What?!” The monotone voice of the man still showed a sign of panic. “I am not going to talk to anybody!”

“Oswa- damn it! Glen! Stop acting like this! What are you? Five? There are two gorgeous women willing to let us approach and you say no? What are your arguments?”

“I don’t feel like talking to women?” Oswald said. “Or to anybody? Much less a stranger. I wonder why the hell I came here, to begin with. I’m going back.”

“No, you’re not!” Jack decided, pulling him by the arm. Oswald did not put up much resistance as the blond literally hugged his arm. “Come with me. They will both fall for you in an instant, as long as you put what I taught you in practice.”

Oswald felt a sudden fear. “What do you mean, “you taught me”?”

Jack sighed. “The smile, Glen. And the nice attitude. I would say the dance, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He played.

“How funny.” The other said. “I told you I want to go home. Leave me, Jack.”

“We are going to talk to those girls and we’re going to have fun.” Jack stated, determined. “You have to learn to socialise, Oswald.”

“I’m sure I don’t.” Retorted the Baskerville.

“Don’t be stubborn. You’ll come back home tonigh like an expert so you can rub it all over Glen’s face.”

The idea was not so bad, Oswald thought. Of course it was still bad, he corrected. Yet Jack’s grip was tight and Oswald left himself be dragged by him, as he always did for some reason. Maybe if it weren’t for that one glass of wine the response would’ve been different.

“Good night, ladies.” Jack complimented with a slight bow. “Would you mind us joining you?”

The women giggled once more, holding into each other’s arm. The taller one with black hair answered. “Of course, gentlemen.”

Jack sat on the wooden chair next to the maid, who was apparently already out of service, since she hadn’t move from there for a while. “My name is Jack ladies. This is my friend, Glen.”

“Nice to meet you.” The blonde whispered and presented herself as Johana, her friend as Simone.

It was all wrong and weird, Oswald thought. It started with a nice chat, mostly Jack and Johana chatting and Simone asking the Baskerville random questions he answered with a “yes” or “no”. They asked for wine again, to Oswald’s loathing, but he drank it when Simone offered him a glass, mostly because Jack was staring at him intensely and obviously ordering him to do so, or else he would be being rude. It still didn’t go on very well. When the girls were distracted and Jack turned to Oswald, he put both indexes on his cheeks and smiled brightly at his friend, hoping to transmit the message. Oswald got it perfectly and so when Simone turned to him again, he took a deep breath and twisted his lips in a weird way to try to mimic Jack’s smile. A failed attempt, he realized, when the girl started chuckling at him. Fairly embarrassed, Oswald looked down, ready to get up and leave. “Was that a smile?” The woman asked with a gentle voice. Oswald did not answer, so she just smiled at him. It was a nice, pretty smile, the man noticed. “I like it.” She admitted.

Those words were simple and could have been said by anyone, yet they made him… chuckle? _Was that a muffled chuckle?,_ wondered Jack. He looked in awe at the girl who had actually made Oswald do something almost similar to a laugh. Who was her?

Then Oswald talked. He talked very little, very lowly, yet he talked to that dark haired girl. Jack observed, somehow surprised without knowing the reason. He brought Oswald there for him to socialize, right? It was good thing it was working, right? Then why did he feel like this? Like that view was so… wrong? The alcohol was seriously starting to affect Oswald, whose cheeks were already reddish. That could be the only explanation for the man’s unnatural behaviour. Right…?

His own insecurity and the fact that his reaction was being ridiculous made Jack angry at himself. So when Johana got closer to him, he pulled her in for a kiss.

Oswald felt dizzy by the wine and also because Simone was really funny and, after that time, not so annoying to talk with, he realized. He had a smile on his face, something probably unthinkable in a normal situation, yet it faded when he turned his head to find Jack. That blonde woman was practically sitting on his best friend’s lap, and they were actually kissing. Lips meeting in a wild, luxurious action. Oswald had not ever seen such carnal demonstration of affection nor he wish he had, now that he had. Something in his chest seemed to clack, as if his heart stopped beating because that was Jack and he was kissing that girl with such intent… and it hurt.

When Jack stopped to breathe, his eyes briefly met with Oswald’s, immediately catching his attention. The excitement, the pleasure, all of it was wiped away from his face the instant he met such sad violet eyes.

Oswald couldn’t tell why it hurt.

But he could tell that, when Simone required his attention, he stared at her without a word. And that when she leaned toward him, he didn’t pull her back. And that when her soft lips met his, following her companion’s example, he didn’t resist. He kept his eyes opened as his mouth was touched by that woman’s knowing one. It was wet and weirdly agreeable, somehow, her tongue gently entering his mouth. But it was wrong and sinful and _wrong_. Oswald couldn’t tell himself why it was wrong, but he knew deep inside, in his aching chest, that it certainly was. He also realized that after twenty five years of life that was of all his first kiss. And it was wrong…

Yet he found no way to make her stop. He closed his eyes, so dazed by the moment or by the environment or even by the alcohol that he couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

Impressively, he didn’t need to pull away.

Oswald opened his eyes when the lips previously hungrily caressing his were no more. And he saw Simone up, Jack with a hand over her shoulder, smiling and singing apologies in his carefree manner. Oswald was just confused when Jack grabbed his hand. “I really think it’s time for us to go.”

Only when he got up and stumbled over the table, spilling the wine all over and making the other costumers jump in their seats in surprise hearing the glass breaking, Oswald realized how much he had drank. Jack leaned his friend’s limp body against his in an attempt to keep him standing. He bid farewells and dragged Oswald out of the bar, leaving two astonished and angry women behind.

“A’e we goin’ already…?” Oswald stuttered, too dizzy to get annoyed by how childish he sounded.

“Y-Yeah!” Jack gasped, obviously struggling to drag his friend’s body, yet somehow irritated. “Enough social interaction… for today.”

Oswald didn’t answer back. He didn’t know what to say and felt too weak to do so, and yet he was perfectly conscious of the Vessalius’ efforts, so he tried his best to stand and walk, even though still not able to do so alone. Jack held Oswald’s hand for some reason, in some try to pull him up and made the dark haired let out a pained scream. Seeing the blood in his hand, Jack felt lost between panic and worry and quickly landed Oswald on the floor of the dark and deserted street, against some building’s wall. Oswald moaned some incomprehensible words when Jack asked what the matter was, but he quickly realized it. A sharp piece of glass, piercing the Baskervilles’ hand between his index and thumb. Some sort of relief came to Jack as he efficiently pulled out the glass, hearing the other scream in pain. Jack brought the hurt hand to his mouth and stuck his tongue against the cut to ease the pain.

It might have worked, or maybe Oswald was too impressed and surprised to keep complaining. He stared at Jack, who softly bit his hand and it made no sense, but he was in no state to get flustered or to even care about the tongue wetting his skin. The drunk man leaned his head against the wall, still staring at Jack. He was so dazzling, so perfectly close…

Jack still couldn’t tell why he felt so angry minutes ago, yet he couldn’t bring himself to actually be angry anymore. Oswald seemed so incredibly vulnerable right now, as he had never seen him before, as he doubted anyone would have ever seen him before. That thought made him smile at himself for unknown reasons. Being the only person to see Oswald like that… It sounded nice.

He took Oswald’s hand away from his mouth and looked at the now wet wound. It was small and eventually inoffensive. “There now. It’s fine, isn’t-”

The words got stuck in his mouth the moment he saw Oswald’s sane hand stretching and touching his hair.  Such a gesture made him curious, the way the man moved his fingers so slightly around his long braid. “It’s… soft…” The Baskerville murmured, sleepy. His eyes looked up and he only talked after some seconds. “You are… beautiful…”

This one caught Jack unprepared and a sudden blush covered is cheeks. “G-Glen…”

“Hum…?” The other mumbled, absent.

Jack couldn’t tell why his heart beat so quickly and harshly in his chest and such fact made him mad. He heard that before, right? Along his life, many people called him pretty names, praised his good looks and manners. Then why did this simple statement, coming from that one man’s lips, felt so differently great? “A-Are you okay?” He brought himself to ask.

Oswald seemed to think for a second. “No… I am com-pletly drunk…” He admitted.

Jack laughed now, still kneeling down right in front of his friend. It relieved him that Oswald was at least still able to recognise his own state. “Yes, you are…”

“I am… so pathetic…”

“No. You are not.” Jack assured. “You aren’t used to drink so much, it’s no big deal-”

“…kissing…” Oswald mumbled between other too-low-to-understand words.

“What?” Jack asked, leaning a bit closer.

“I…pathetic… for… for kissing her…”

Jack felt that uncomfortable feeling again, yet he fought to shake it off and showed a fake smile. “Of course not. It’s normal to kiss girls, you know?”

“It was… wrong.” The man whispered. “It felt so wrong… I am- sorry…”

“No…”

“I-I made you… mad…” Oswald affirmed. “Why… were you-mad?”

“I…” Jack wished he could have told something better, yet the words leaving his moth were simple. “I was not mad. I _am_ not mad.”

“I am… sorry…”

“Stop saying that, I told you I’m not mad. Now we better be going. It’s late already.” Jack said, readying to get up.

A tight grip on his sleeve did not let him, though. He looked down at Oswald, who stared at his own hands, dark violet eyes moist. “I’m sorry… for… for everything… I’m sorry for being a monster…”

The phrase awoke something inside Jack that he had no idea even existed, some kind of protective instinct. “What? You are no su-”

“But I will.” Oswald stated, seeming hurt. “I will become a monster and… I will hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Those words made Jack shiver. Was it the sadness in that poor man’s tone? Or was it the fact that those words could’ve been spoken by himself? Conscious of his life of crime and deception, Jack could not help but to associate himself with some kind of soulless monster. _“I will hurt you”,_ he said. Jack tried to convince himself that there was no pain that could affect him, but he suddenly realized he would soon be the one causing Oswald pain. Until now, hurting strangers was not even a considered matter, just a basic need he didn’t think too much about. But now, looking down at that fragile man he thought so though, Jack realized how much he would end up hurting him. Not because he wanted to, but because it was inevitable. His lies were his way of living and it would certainly not be long until some of those lies trapped Oswald, like a rope around his neck, to suffocate him little by little. That is what happened with everyone Jack met, and Oswald would probably be no different.

“I don’t want to hurt you…” Oswald continued, his breath heavy and voice low. “But I also don’t want you to leave…” He held on tighter, pulling Jack closer in sudden fear, sudden need. “Please don’t… don’t leave me… I’m… too much of a coward… to let you go…”

And that was it. His exact feelings, spoken by another person. In spite of everything, Jack still wanted to stay. That Oswald in front of him, so little and so much how he wanted to be and so _needed_ by him. He couldn’t describe those feelings, he would never but, in that instant, he just wanted to be there with Oswald, to have him.

And they were so close now, having Jack unconsciously leaned forward as he heard Oswald, and even though they were in the middle of a deserted street and under starry dark skies, the shiver running up Jack’s spin was not due to the cold night breeze. Oswald was so pretty, Jack realized, and standing so close... A rare and dark beauty, marked by long eyelashes and pale skin, even though his cheeks reddened now, long strands of hair covering part of his face. That was Oswald and Jack knew it well. And knowing it made him grow uneasy, a state of strange ecstasy of unknown cause that impelled him to lean even closer.

Oswald felt his head blank and his members completely numb and sore, and yet he was so close. That Jack that had caught his eye since the first time they met. And he didn’t want him to go away. Never. “Say…” He begged in a suffered whisper. “Say you won’… leave me… please…”

Jack did not take a second to think the words, but took two to say them out loud. “I won’t leave you. I promise.”

Hearing this, Oswald’s lips curved into an unthoughtful smile. A small and soft smile, yet real and beautiful.

And, before any of them could figure out what was really going on, their lips were meeting. Ever so slightly, ever so simply, their mouths touching in genuine delight, none knowing how they got there, none really caring. Then one of them moved and the other followed, mouths opening with shy intent, quickly becoming more voracious. Between shivers and gasps, tongues suddenly decided to invade the other’s space, both men getting lost in that one contact. Oswald held Jack’s face with wavering hands, Jack entwined long fingers through Oswald’s hair and there they were, offering and giving, melting into each other a bit more each time their tongues collided. It was a wet, sloppy kiss after short seconds, something almost immature, the men exploring each other’s mouths with no shame or limitation, only pure desire and nee for one another. Heat built up between their bodies, _within_ their bodies, mouths crashing, teeth clicking to rip a low guttural growl off of Oswald’s throat. Jack felt his head spinning around, in endearing posture and completely taken over by the infuriating flames rushing though his veins, swirling his tongue inside Oswald’s mouth to require space, to require pose and to feel it all, the warmth, the wetness, the taste of alcohol, so bittersweet and compromising. And Oswald was also lost. He couldn’t see a thing anymore, blood painfully throbbing in his brain, so he kept his eyes closed and _felt_. He felt Jack’s mouth against his, _claiming_ his, and let him, helped him, invited him because it felt just so good and was so tasty and hot and right. It felt right above everything he had ever done and it didn’t matter where they were or how, just that they were together, united by that savage yet sweet kiss that entwined them in endless waves of pleasure and desire and joy.

And none of them wanted to stop. Not really. Yet the short breaths they managed to suck out of each other in too short pauses weren’t enough. They held on until they could barely breathe and then their lips separated for real, Jack letting his tongue wander a second more over Oswald’s upper lip. He leaned his forehead against the other’s. Breathless, gasping for air while coming from a world where there was few, both took a long moment to recover, members mostly limp and aching chests, swollen lips and flustered faces. They didn’t let go for a long time. When they both could breathe finely enough, Oswald dared to look up at Jack, violet eyes pleading and thankful at the same time. “O-Osw-… Glen…” The blond still corrected, even with his mind in such a pitiful state.

“Don’t…” Oswald purred, painfully shaking his head. “Call me Oswald… tonight… I want to remain Oswald… just for tonight…”

Jack stared into those pretty eyes with delight. That man that once scared him, he realized. The smile didn’t reach his eyes. They could’ve leaned forward again, they could’ve lost themselves once again in that whirlwind of longing and lust and kindness, but none of them did. Jack eventually managed to stand up after a long, long while. “We… we have to go now… Oswald.”


	5. To Forget

How they did make it to the mansion is a mystery. Dragging their messy selves, they arrived somehow and Jack was able to lay Oswald down on his bed, always trying his best not to make too much noise. He stared for a while at the pretty figure, eyes closed, chest rising and lowering at the rhythm of his heavy breathing. It was Oswald, and he had been his for short moments that night. The man was so beautiful, Jack thought, and that itching will to touch him again made him uneasy. The taste of those lips still lingered on his. It was insane, and yet it felt so good Jack couldn’t bring himself to deny it.

Yet it was not real.

It was with raw sadness that Jack decided it could not be real. He knew it as he knew that Lacie was the only thing he was allowed to love in that world. Never once he felt so insecure about such words, but he still refused to give them up. Oswald was gorgeous and Oswald was nice and Oswald made him feel happy and safe and loved. But was that fuzzy feeling inside his chest even real? Could he trust something that came from so deep within, from himself? From himself who was a liar, a deceiver, a fake? It was unwise and Jack did know it too well. Lacie was the only thing he could hold on to, it had to be like that. So that he could know what to feel and think. Oswald was instability as much as he was aching feeling and sore pleasure.

Staring at the man’s sleepy face, Jack just knew it. And he knew he had to do it. What if Oswald woke up the next day remembering everything? How would it be? Would he run away disgusted? Or would he wish for more? Both options were visibly equally terrible, and so he had no choice. He couldn’t be with that man out of fear, fear that he would wake up someday to molten wax of something he wanted to be and was not. He wouldn’t be able to take it. And so he had no other choice. He would lie. The next day, ought Oswald to wake up remembering something from that night, something from that kiss they’d shared under the moonlight, Jack would lie. He would say that nothing happened, that Oswald was just too drunk and that it’d all been a silly dream. And Oswald would believe it. That was the only thing he could do. It was for the best, Jack tried to convince himself.

He was taken by surprise when Oswald’s hand moved to hold his. He didn’t open his eyes in his drunk delusion as he talked in a whisper: “It’ll… be fine… I know… I will…”

Jack had no idea what he was talking about, but it had no importance. A soft smile draw itself on his lips as he caressed Oswald’s hand with his. Nobody was watching, as so it was not a smile meant to deceive anyone. It was a real one, of real affection and also real sorrow. But, caught in the illusion he himself created for his own protection, Jack failed to notice that reality. “It will. I know.” But he didn’t.

A pitiful lie, one that wouldn’t hurt too much. Oswald’s hand fell over the mattress as he fell asleep. Jack prepared to leave the room, decided about what to do the next morning. Yet he hesitated for an instant. He thought for a second about the possibility of telling the truth, of confessing that moment and those feelings he shared with Oswald that night. But he could not. Even if he was selfish, or actually because of it, the man could not. Oswald would live believing nothing happened, as it should’ve not. The pain of that memory, the memory (Jack did not know) of a love that would never come to be, should remain with him and him alone, for him to cherish and bear.

Jack stared at Oswald’s sleeping figure one more moment. Tomorrow, everything would be as it were yesterday, without kisses or twisted desires. It was another lie. Nothing would ever be the same, now that Jack knew it, that feeling heaving on his chest. Now that Jack had given up on it. That _thing_ between them that was not supposed to exist. He placed his lips on Oswald’s forehead for one last touch, just to feel the heat of that pale skin once again, before everything was over. “Goodnight.” He whispered, so lowly he barely heard himself. “Oswald…”

Because Oswald had asked to be Oswald that night, and because Jack also wanted Oswald to stay Oswald that night. But Oswald was Glen now, or was supposed to be soon enough, and they both knew that. The sooner Jack accepted that, the sooner he accepted distance between them and so the sooner her crashed his own feelings, the better.

So that was, indeed, the last time Jack Vessalius uttered that name.


End file.
